


Simmons Gets Fat (kind of)

by lorb



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, omg this is nothing but fluff, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 22:29:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15543522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorb/pseuds/lorb
Summary: Simmons is very conscious of a little weight gain and Grif has to make him feel better.





	Simmons Gets Fat (kind of)

Simmons is moaning in the bedroom, and this time Grif has nothing to do with it. He gets up from the couch to look into the open room. Simmons is standing in front of the mirror, struggling to button his fancy pants.

“Grif!” He notices his husband in the mirror. Simmons lets go of the pants and turns to face him. “You’re cooking made me fat!”

“What?” Grif stares at Simmons’ lithe figure. “Alright, two problems here; one you barely eat anything I make-”

“You don’t follow my dietary restrictions!” Simmons protests.

“Because they’re unending, Simmons. You can basically eat rice and I’m tired of eating fucking rice.” Grif sits on the bed. “But more importantly, you’re not fucking fat.”

“I can’t button my pants. I’m fat.” Simmons gives one more try, like maybe he lost a half an inch in the past minute.

“I don’t think you’ve ever worn those pants.” Grif isn’t known for his memory per se, but he thinks he’d remember the gray pinstripe pattern. “Why’d you even dig them out?” 

“Donut invited us to his 35th birthday party. It’s semi-formal attire and you know he gets pissed when we don’t follow the dress code.” Simmons leans back into the closet, rooting through casual sweaters and jeans, coming out empty. “And I did wear these pants. We got engaged in these pants, asshole.”

“Dude. That was,” Grif scrunches his forehead trying to recall, “6 years ago. People grow out of pants in 6 years. It’s just nature. You aren’t fat.”

“Fine.” Simmons screeches, turning to face Grif and pulling up his shirt to bare his pale belly. Grif doesn’t see any fat. He grimaces in a way that Simmons can tell means he doesn’t believe him. “Look at this!” Simmons pinches his skin, pulling the smallest amount of fat from his hips.

“Oh my god, Simmons.” Grif rubs his forehead. “It’s a little pudge, come on. You aren’t 26 anymore and it isn’t like we’re in the Marines anymore. Weight gain happens when all you do is play D&D and watch movies.” 

Simmons isn’t assuaged. He turns to look at his stomach from another angle in the mirror, frowning. 

“You got over being a cyborg, but a couple pounds and you’re gonna lose it?” 

“Being a cyborg makes me cool. This just makes me… fat.” Simmons looks up, locking eyes with Grif and betraying the fact that this means more than just a couple pounds.

Grif is up immediately. He’s out of his clothes before Simmons can complain. He tries to, opening his mouth with a scowl. Grif cuts him off, “Do you think I’m fat.”

“Yes.” Simmons answers like lightning. His eyes fall on the tan skin stretched over Grif’s full figure. His belly hangs over his boxers, and every part of him is covered in a layer of fat that Simmons is fully used to snuggling into. It’s not rude, it’s just true. Grif is fat; water is wet. 

“Do you think I’m ugly.”

“Yes.” Simmons smiles with a shit-eating grin.

“Asshole. You don’t say that when we’re fucking. Oh Grif, you’re so sexy, oh Grif, you’re so hot.”

“Shut up. You know I was kidding.”

“Yeah. So you can be fat and handsome, and sexy, and beautiful.” Grif helps Simmons out of his shirt so they can stand skin to skin. Simmons can’t help but look down at his own relatively flat stomach. “You’re not, though.”

“Hey!” Simmons shouts when his brain picks up.

“Fat, Simmons. You aren’t fat.” Grif lets his hands fall to his hips. “And maybe a little pudge will be nice. Like sleeping with a human instead of a pile of bones.” 

Simmons scrunches up his nose but let’s this one go. He lets Grif guide him to the bed, laying down. 

Grif lays a kiss unto Simmons’ stomach, pulling up to meet his eyes. “You’re soft.” 

He kisses the line between metal and man. “You’re intricate.” 

He places a kiss on his sternum, causing Simmons to squirm. “You’re ticklish.” Grif grins with only one side of his mouth.

Simmons reaches one hand down to caress Grif’s face. Grif turns to kiss his hand. “You’re dexterous.” 

Grif kisses up Simmons arm, following the pattern of freckles. “You’re cute as fuck.”

He kisses his jaw, enjoying the way he can feel Simmons smiling under his lips. “You’re handsome.”

Grif skips up to his forehead, kissing him gently three times in a row. “You’re brave. You’re smart. You’re strong.”

Grif lowers himself back to look in Simmons’ eyes. “You’re not fat. And if you were, you’d be a lot more than just fat, right?”

Simmons pauses, looking away from Grif’s gaze. They both know he’s ignoring letting Grif know he’s right.

“Exactly.” Grif tips Simmons chin back up to finally kiss him on the lips. “You’re a pain in the ass.”

“Grif!” Simmons pushes him off, but they’re both smiling. “You know I think you’re gorgeous, right? Fat ass and all.”

“Fat ass especially.” Grif waits for Simmons to deny it but he just turns red.

“Maybe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just some soft short fic to share with y'all! I love my boys and I haven't written any fluff of them in a hot second.


End file.
